This is an editorial about neighbors. My husband and I, as well as our toddler son, have lived in our condo complex for just under three years now. We have had our ups and down of getting along with various neighbors here and there. Some have been more friendly than others, and some interactions started out friendly only to turn into hostile situations later on. Over all, I would say we have had your typically average American experience in terms of the friendliness, and sometimes unfriendliness, in our neighborhood.

Now we are planning on moving out in a few weeks. We will be renting our condo out to another young family while we upgrade into a full sized home. Now what do you think happened when we let the word get out that we are leaving?

People coming out left and right to express to us how much they are going to miss us and how they are so sad to see us go. My husband and I were at a loss with the sudden apparent friendliness we were receiving when we had been living in that area just shy of three years. We asked ourselves, why is it people are suddenly so caring about our welfare right when we are about to leave them behind and move one with our lives?

I believe that the answer lies within the very question. For some of the more hostile neighbors, I think they are probably having a secret party to celebrate our departure and they will probably pray that the people taking our place will be the complete opposite of us.

However, this cynical little scenario only applies to a small percentage of the people around us. So what about the majority of our other neighbors who are all of a sudden being so nice now that we are going? I do not think it has anything to do with how they feel about us personally. No, my theory is simply called “the effort factor”. I believe this theory applies to almost anyone in our American society today.

What I mean when I call it the effort factor is this: people want to be nice and decent human beings. We all want to think that we’re making a worthwhile contribution to society. But things can get in the way of our intentions. People work hard, have their families to raise, and their own extended families to keep in touch with, and have a select amount of friends that they want to see on a regular basis.

Therefore, the effort factor of going out and visiting with other neighbors they do not know as well does not enter their minds as often as they’d like to think. But when someone announces that they are moving, it is the perfect opportunity to suddenly give of oneself without having to maintain that effort throughout the future. All you have to do is show your regret that you did not get to know that neighbor very well, make them a little treat to say “goodbye”, and then they go and you are off the hook! Hardly any effort has been put into you being a nice person.

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